Still Love Them? You Can still Let Go 💔

We tend to think love is the glue that keeps a relationship together.

But sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is walk away.

A lot of people stay in situations that no longer serve them because they’re waiting to fall out of love first. They wait for the spark to disappear, for their heart to go numb, for the feelings to fade so the decision doesn’t hurt as much.

But that’s not how this works.

Not when the love is real.

Not when you were real.

You don’t leave because the love is gone.

You leave because peace can’t exist in a place that keeps you emotionally starving.

This week on my YouTube channel, Pages, Plots & Pen Game. I went deeper into this exact topic in my latest video. Click the link below to watch it:

“Still Love Them? Cool. You Still Might Have to Leave.”

We fall in love for so many reasons. Sometimes because of shared values, but other times because of our trauma, our attachment style, or even just a sense of familiarity that feels like home, even when it’s not safe.

But not all of these things are healthy foundations for a relationship.

That’s why we have to stop treating love as the only reason to stay.

Love is a factor. A powerful one.

But it’s not the only one.

Peace, reciprocity, alignment, safety, shared vision—these matter too.

Because love without those things will have you staying in places that feel familiar but keep wounding you.

Let’s Talk About Huda and Jeremiah

If you’ve been watching Love Island this season, then you’ve seen the crash-and-burn of Huda and Jeremiah unfold in real time. It was heartbreaking to watch. Not because the relationship was strong, but because, emotionally, she was all in while he appeared that way... but also kinda wasn't.

And all of this came to a head when America voted to recouple him with Iris and she was almost sent home. Huda was an emotional wreck but while her full focus was on Jeremiah, his focus was on himself. He didn't even check in on her. In his words: he didn't even want to deal with it. He just wanted to go to bed. Which is exactly what he did... And Huda lost it.

She was spiraling. Begging. Doubting herself.

Meanwhile, he sat back, emotionally detached, offering just enough of a response to her emotional outburst to not seem like the bad guy.

And while her reactions may have looked dramatic, they came from a very real place:

because this is what happens when you give too much of yourself in the beginning without realizing that there is not an equal return.

When you love from a place of emotional deficiency, when you pour and pour and pour in hopes that it’ll be “enough” for someone to finally show up for you…

You end up feeling robbed when it ends.

Used.

Jilted.

Like someone cashed out on your soul and ghosted without saying thank you.

The Single Mother & The Child-free Man: A Dynamic No One Talks About

This may sound controversial, but it matters...

Huda is also a mother while Jeremiah, admittedly, couldn't even remember the last time he'd been around a kid. Much less, cared for one.

And in relationships like this, the emotional balance can get skewed fast.

Parents, especially single mothers, are often used to sacrificing their peace for someone else’s comfort. They’ve had to prioritize someone else’s needs above their own for years. Even some women without children have an innate nurturing capability.

But when it comes to men without kids... it's totally different.

That’s not always a red flag, but it can be a power imbalance.

She’s lived a life that required selflessness.

He’s still living a life that centers his own convenience.

That’s what made it so easy for her to over-give and so easy for him to under-show-up. While she was extending herself for his comfort and always thinking about him, he was only focused on how the relationship made him feel and whether he could find better with someone else.

It's no secret that she already felt like being a mother put her at a disadvantage—otherwise, she wouldn't have felt the need to hide it. Her concern with whether or not she could be accepted and loved by a man who had no children led to her over-performing to earn his love and undervaluing her own self-worth.

And when it ended, it wrecked her. Not just because she loved him, but because she never got a return on her emotional investment. She went all in to prove she was worthy for a man who has never had to sacrifice his comfort beyond the moment when things are uncomfortable.

How to Know When You’re Overgiving to Earn Love

✨ 1. You’re confusing intensity with intimacy

Just because it feels strong doesn’t mean it’s healthy. If the “passion” comes with anxiety and instability, that’s a trauma bond. Not deep love.

✨ 2. You’re stuck in potential, not reality

Stop making decisions based on who someone could be if they changed. Look at who they are right now. Are they consistent? Are they emotionally present? Are they meeting your needs?

✨ 3. You feel robbed when it ends

If the breakup feels like someone stole your soul, check how much of yourself you were pouring out without reciprocity. Overloving is not the same as being loved well.

✨ 4. You’re the only one sacrificing

If you keep giving, shifting, shrinking, sacrificing—and they’re just coasting—you’re in a performance, not a partnership.

How This Shows Up in Fallen: Sons of God

While I’ve been working on my next series, this exact theme came up with one of Neveah’s closest friends, Khaiya.

Khaiya is going through her own journey of realizing that love doesn’t always equal alignment. She’s been giving from the deepest parts of her spirit, but she’s starting to ask: what do I actually receive in return? Loving him aside, is this actually what I want?

I’ll be sharing sneak peeks of Khaiya’s story in my upcoming mailing list drops.

So if you haven’t joined my list yet, now’s the time 👉🏽 Sign up for the mailing list here.

Asking yourself the questions that Khaiya begins to ask about her own relationship is what we all need to consider before giving our hearts too freely.

Because not everyone deserves immediate access to your emotions.

And that’s why pacing matters.

It’s not about playing games or being “hard to get.” It’s about guarding what’s sacred until you’re sure someone can hold it with care. You move slowly (and not like Ace , another Love Islander, who used the excuse of being a “slow burn” as a cover while flirting with everybody) but because you know the difference between intentional vulnerability and emotional leakage.

You’re not being cold.

You’re being conscious.

Before you open yourself fully, pay attention:

• How do they respond when you express your emotions?

• Do they dismiss you?

• Do they shut down?

• Do they withdraw when you ask for space or support?

• Do they force you into inconsistent patterns of increased communication before pulling away?

If someone can’t make room for your emotional process, they can’t make room for real partnership.

Protecting your heart doesn’t mean building walls.

It means planting boundaries like gates: ones that open for the right people, at the right time, in the right energy.

Because when you give too much too fast, hoping love will make them stay, what usually happens is you end up drained—leaking energy in a space that was never equipped to contain it.

Love isn’t supposed to leave you empty.

And it should never feel like you’re begging to be received.

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It’s all about knowing when to love hard...

and when to walk away with your heart still intact.