Women Still Want Love... But We Don’t Chase It Anymore

We’re not bitter.

We’re not closed off.

We’re just done losing ourselves trying to keep someone else’s attention.

There’s a version of us, somewhere back there, that would’ve bent. Would’ve softened our tone, dimmed our light, made ourselves smaller, easier, more palatable. All for the hope that love might stay.

That version doesn’t exist anymore.

Because once you learn how to hold yourself, you stop reaching for people who can’t meet you where you already stand.

This exact shift, the one from proving to simply being, is what I unpack in my latest video.

Watch it here 🎥: Women Still Want Love... But We Don’t Chase It Anymore

In my the latest video where I break down how writing a woman like Neveah is reshaping my entire process... and maybe the way you write your female leads too.

We still want love.

We still want companionship, presence, pleasure, intimacy.

And when the right man comes around, we cannot wait to love him DOWN until he can't take it anymore.

But we also know that real love won't force us to trade up our intuition, dignity, or peace.

This is where Neveah finds herself.

She's a single mother. Divorced. Stable. Spiritual. Smart. Sexy. And done playing games with men who think a woman like her is looking for a provider, a savior, or someone to hand her a title just to say she’s worthy. Men who think she balances her sense of self-worth on whether he (or any man) wants her or not.

She' a whole person. She knows who she is. She can take care of herself. Has been doing it. And truth be told... she does it well.

What she doesn’t have time for is a man who mistakes her softness for submission to anything he demands in exchange for his commitment. Or one who mistakes her interest in him for full access to her heart.

Because... Neveah doesn’t need fixing. She's not broken.

She needs honesty. Consistency. Energy that feels like peace—not performance in order to siphon love from her. And if she can’t have that, she’ll take herself to brunch, journal it out, and call it a good day.

So when Nasir shows up, all fine and brooding, walking like he’s carrying a secret (because, well, he is)… Neveah sees him for exactly what he is:

Mr. Wrong in a Mr. Right wrapper.

Fine? Absolutely.

Mystery? Yes, please.

But emotionally available? Spiritually aligned? Relationship material?

Not with that energy. Not with that attitude. Not with that I-know-what-I’m-working-with smirk that says, “I could ruin you if you let me.”

She doesn’t have time for that.

Well... not unless she’s in the mood.

Not unless she’s curious enough (or bored enough) to allow him into her bed and possibly grace him with a moment of her heavenly time. And even then, it’ll be on her terms.

Because Neveah’s not waiting for a man to come save her.

She’s already saved herself.

She’s the storm and the safe house.

The only question is: can Nasir swim in water deep enough that he might drown? Or should he stay on the shore?

This Isn’t Anti-Love. It’s Clarity.

Women like Neveah don’t hate men.

They’re not closed off to romance.

They just finally know the difference between being loved and being used. Between chemistry and compatibility. Between sexual tension and soul recognition. Between a man who desires her just physically vs one who wants to know her emotionally and mentally, too.

She still wants love.

But not if it costs her clarity.

Not if she has to explain why she’s worthy of it.

And in this book?

She’s not looking for a man to choose her.

She’s choosing herself. Every day. And letting the right one show that he catch up without demanding she falls back or shrinks to prove herself worthy of him.

When Romance Meets Sovereignty

Neveah’s journey is a reflection of where so many women are now.

We’re in a place where romance has to feel like alignment—not achievement.

We don’t chase anymore.

We don’t convince anymore.

We don’t wait for someone to see what’s been clear all along.

That’s not power. That’s performance. And we’re done performing.

What Writers Can Learn From Women Like Neveah

When writing characters like Neveah, understand:

• She wants love, but doesn’t need it to be complete.

• Her standards aren’t walls—they’re filters.

• Her softness isn’t submission—it’s discernment.

• And the man who gets close to her?

  He’s going to have to deserve her softness, not just desire it.

She’s not written for the male gaze.

She’s written for every woman who decided that love shouldn’t come at the cost of her wholeness.

And Nasir? He’s Got Work to Do.

He’s not the villain.

But he’s not the savior either.

He’s walking around with unresolved pain, divine gifts he’s running from, and a whole lot of ego.

And Neveah is not here to do his emotional labor for him.

He might have Big D*k Energy—but that’s not enough to get him full access to her anymore.

Not when presence, protection, purpose, and peace are the real flex.

Final Word

We still want love.

We still want soft touches, shared playlists, someone to hold space for us when we’re tired of holding it for everyone else.

But what we don’t want?

Love that makes us feel small.

Love that costs us our clarity.

Love that requires us to forget who we are just to be chosen.

Because the truth is…

We’ve already chosen ourselves.

And if someone else wants a seat at the table, they better come correct—or keep it moving.

Ask yourself: Are you still chasing love—or are you letting it find you where you’re whole?

The right one won’t just see you.

He’ll meet you... fully.

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It’s all about knowing when to love hard...

and when to walk away with your heart still intact.