“We’re sleeping together, but he hasn’t said ‘I love you’ yet.”

“He shuts down whenever I wanna meet his family.”

“We don’t even talk anymore.”

These thoughts keep running around in your head. You know there’s something not right between the two of you. There’s a level of intimacy you haven’t been able to reach yet.

No matter how much of a bad gal you are.

Chances are, there is ONE thing missing.

TRUST.

You can never be at 100% intimacy in your relationship unless you believe each other.

I don’t mean when your man says, “Girl, just trust me,” and you go “okay, baby.” Then 14 minutes later you’re with your girls like:

You need to develop a confidence with your man where you don’t second guess everything he tells you. Don’t be the girl waiting until he uses the bathroom to be stealthy and rush across the room for his phone notifications. Trust me on this! My grandmother always said to never go looking for something because you’ll always find something you don’t like. Behavior is the tell-tell sign that you should always watch out for. Don’t snoop!

If you are serious about getting a solid foundation of trust in your relationship, here are 3 questions that you and your man need to answer honestly. Truthfully.

Question 1 – How have I let you down during our relationship?

Now, this is the first step into the deep end. You need to be open to hearing how you might have messed up in the relationship. We’ve all made mistakes, and sometimes we don’t realize what lasting damage they cause.

That argument on Thursday night wasn’t really about you always picking the movie for date night. It was about you not standing up for him in front of your dad during Christmas dinner last year.

Don’t let resentment fester.

Question 2 – How did you feel in those moments when I let you down?

 

Angry. Upset. Annoyed. Wanted to hurt you back.

These are some words you need to be prepared to hear (and say! – this exercise goes both ways remember). You don’t have to understand the pain you made your other-half feel. Your job is to respond to it.

Empathy is crucial. Validate their feelings. Click To Tweet

Question 3 – What exactly did you do back then when I let you down and how do you want to fix this now?

“Please, tell me you didn’t go out and cheat on me.”

Some guys can try to get back at you in any way they can. Even going as far as to spend the night with another woman. Prepare yourself for whatever actions they may have taken and what you are willing to do to salvage what you have with your man. It’s not for anyone but you to decide on what you’re willing to deal with in your relationship and what you’re willing to work through. At the end of the day, it’s your life and you are the one who has to live it!

via GIPHY

But listen… don’t ever compromise your values in the process.

Trust is something that takes time to build and nurture. Click To Tweet

If it’s been broken before then, believe you can find a way to fix it – if you want it bad enough. At the same time, know when you need to walk away. Sometimes you may love a person but love just isn’t enough. As women, we love to fix a broken man. It’s just in us to be nurturing and giving to the point where we have nothing else left to give. You are no good to anyone (and definitely not to yourself) if you’re constantly empty because you’re giving your all to someone else.

Read more about relationships on my other post Love without a glove – it’s all about protection 

What hurdles are you willing to get over in order to keep the relationship going? Let me know in the comments.

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