Chapter 4: Alice in Gangland 2

Walking back into my place was like stepping into the shell of the woman I used to be.

No dishes in the sink. No wine glasses on the counter. No signs of life at all, really.

Because I hadn’t been here.

Not really.

I’d dropped Ziggy off the moment I landed but I was so eager to get to Jay’s, I didn’t really pay attention to anything. I thought that I would spend time with him and then come back here to reconnect and find peace. But peace didn’t live here. Not anymore. Nothing around felt like me anymore. Being in Gangland had changed me.

Ziggy thumped his little feet across the floor, ears twitching as he hopped toward me. I scooped him up and hugged him close.

“You’re the only man I need in my life, Ziggy,” I whispered. “The only one out here not thinking with the head in his pants.”

He wiggled in my arms, nibbling at the strap of my jacket like he was trying to hold me here.

I flew here thinking love would save me. But love wasn’t gonna save me. The only thing that would was my mission. It always did. Jay was right—my job would always come first in my life.

My phone lit up again on the counter, vibrating so hard it nearly slipped off the edge. It was Jay. Again.

I let it ring. Then ring again. I wasn’t about to play ping pong with his ego just because he was suddenly in his feelings. He’d made his choice. He needed to embrace it.

Text after text poured in—everything from “Please just talk to me,” to “You don’t understand what you’re doing,” to that one line he kept repeating that pissed me off the most: “I only did it because I love you.”

I scoffed. Love without respect was just manipulation wrapped in a romantic fantasy. I placed the phone on the counter and powered it off.

Let it burn.

I was done with it. And done with Jay.

I sat Ziggy gently in his carrier, tossed a few baby carrots inside, and rubbed his head.

“Turns out, we’re not staying. Just grabbing what we need and getting back to it.”

The apartment was quiet. I stood in the middle of it for a long moment, scanning everything like I was saying goodbye. Not to the place, but to the woman who used to live here. The one who thought she could balance it all.

I walked past the mirror in the hallway and caught my reflection. My hair was tied up but wild at the edges, eyes a little darker than I remembered them. I looked like someone who had crawled through hell and made a bed there.

That used to scare me. But nowI just nodded to the woman looking back.

You finally get it.

On the nightstand sat the photo of me and Jay. Yet another moment where he was smiling and lying. I picked it up, stared for a second, and then placed it face-down. Not broken. Not burned. Just done.

The air all around me felt heavy. Change was coming.

I was transforming into something. Becoming. I could feel it. Rising up in my chest. Oozing from my pores like smoke before a full-blown blaze. This wasn’t just another case. This wasn’t just another assignment. This was the beginning of something that would demand all of me. I didn’t know what I was turning into, but I could feel the shift pulling me under like gravity.

Walking to my room, I grabbed the few things that still made me feel like me. The jade ring my grandmother gave me. One she used to call her “watcher stone.” Said it kept her safe in times when she didn’t know who to trust.

My rose oil, the kind that made me feel soft but strong at the same time. A small black tourmaline pendant I’d started wearing again ever since I caught that feeling in Gangland that I was being watched. And this time, I added a single white feather I’d found tucked into my car door the night I landed—no explanation, but it felt like a sign so I kept it.

Protection.

Armor.

Magic.

I threw them into my carry bag, grabbed Ziggy’s carrier, and slung my keys over my wrist.

My phone was on the counter, screen lit up with missed calls and messages.

All Jay. Still begging. Still pleading. Still promising all the things.

I left it right where it was.

That part of my life was officially dead.

I took one last look around and drew one last breath. And with Ziggy’s carrier in one hand and my bag in the other, I walked out and locked the door behind me.

My car was already packed. I hadn’t even unpacked since I landed.

It was like some part of me already knew I wouldn’t be staying long.

Click here for Chapter Five.