Celebrating Christmas Without a Boo: Honoring the Season in Your Own Way
- Porscha Sterling
- Dec 19, 2025
- 5 min read
Christmas has a way of amplifying whatever you’re already feeling.
If you’re happy, it feels warmer.
If you’re lonely, it feels louder.
If you’re grieving, it feels heavier.
And if you’re single or divorced (especially if you’re used to navigating the holidays with a partner) Christmas can feel like a spotlight on what’s missing. The matching pajamas. The inside jokes. The shared traditions. The quiet reassurance of not being alone in it.
There’s a lot of talk this time of year about gratitude, joy, and magic. Less talk about the complicated, uncomfortable reality that many women live inside during the holidays. The truth is, Christmas isn’t universally joyful and pretending it is doesn’t make it easier. It usually makes it worse.
So let’s start here:
If Christmas is hard for you, there is nothing wrong with you.
When Christmas Doesn’t Look Like the Picture
For single women, Christmas often comes with an unspoken narrative: This is supposed to be shared.
For divorced women, it can feel like a reminder of what didn’t work, what was lost, or what fractured.
For mothers, it can carry guilt. Guilt about whether you’re doing enough, whether your kids feel the absence, whether you’re holding it together well enough.
For women who are alone, it can feel like being invisible in a season built around togetherness.
And sometimes it’s not one feeling… it’s all of them at once.
You can love the season and still feel sad.
You can be grateful and still feel lonely.
You can show up for your children and still feel depleted.
None of these emotions cancel each other out. They coexist. And they deserve to be acknowledged.
If You’re a Single or Divorced Woman Without Children
Let’s be honest: being alone on Christmas can feel brutal.
Not because there’s something wrong with being alone but because the world goes quiet in a way that highlights it.
Stores close. Social media floods with photos of family dinners and couple selfies. The pace slows, and there’s nowhere to hide from your own thoughts.
You might feel:
A sense of grief for the life you thought you’d have by now
A longing for connection that feels sharper than usual
Anger at the pressure to “be grateful” when you’re hurting
Or numbness: the emotional equivalent of checking out
All of that is valid.
You are not failing at life because you’re single on Christmas. You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You’re simply human, living in a culture that equates worth with partnership and holidays with romance.
This day does not get to define you.
If You’re a Mother Doing Christmas Solo (or Mostly Solo)
For women with children, Christmas can be a strange mix of joy and exhaustion.
You might be holding it together for your kids: creating magic, keeping traditions alive, smiling through moments that feel bittersweet.
You might also be managing complicated co-parenting dynamics, custody schedules, or the quiet ache of not having adult support.
It’s possible to love your children deeply and still feel lonely. It’s possible to give them everything and still feel unseen.
If this is you, please hear this:
Your children do not need perfection. They need presence. They need warmth. They need you as you are not as some impossible holiday version of yourself.
You don’t have to compensate for what’s missing by overextending yourself. You don’t have to overperform joy to make the day “good enough.”
Sometimes, a simple Christmas is the most honest one.
Letting Go of the “Right Way” to Do Christmas
One of the most painful parts of the holidays is the invisible rulebook:
Christmas should look a certain way
Feel a certain way
Be spent with certain people
When your reality doesn’t match that script, it’s easy to feel like you’re doing something wrong.
But what if the problem isn’t your circumstances… it’s the expectation?
Christmas is not a performance.
It’s not a test of how lovable you are.
It’s not proof of success or failure.
It’s one day. A meaningful day, yes, but still just one day.
You are allowed to redefine it.
Gentle Ways to Honor the Day (Without Forcing Joy)
This isn’t about pretending everything is fine. It’s about choosing care over collapse.
Here are some grounded, realistic ways to move through Christmas in a way that honors your emotional reality:
1. Create a Ritual That Belongs Only to You
Rituals don’t have to be big. They just have to be intentional.
This might look like:
Making a special breakfast or dinner just for yourself
Lighting a candle and sitting quietly for a few minutes
Taking a long walk, especially early in the morning
Writing a letter to yourself about what you survived this year
A ritual says: This day matters and so do I.
2. Limit Social Media (Seriously)
Scrolling through curated happiness can quietly wreck your nervous system.
You’re allowed to log off.
You’re allowed to mute accounts.
You’re allowed to protect your peace.
Comparison is not a holiday tradition you need to keep.
3. Choose Connection. But Only Where It Feels Safe
Connection doesn’t have to mean a big family gathering or a romantic partner.
It might be:
A phone call with someone who really knows you
Volunteering for a few hours
Spending time with friends who feel like family
Even exchanging messages with someone who reminds you that you matter
And if none of that feels right? It’s okay to choose solitude; intentionally, not as a punishment.
4. Let Yourself Feel What You Feel (Without Judgment)
If you need to cry, cry.
If you feel numb, let it pass.
If you feel moments of joy, let them exist without guilt.
You don’t need to correct your emotions. You need to witness them.
A Different Kind of Celebration
Celebrating Christmas without a boo doesn’t mean you’ve failed at love or life. It means you’re in a season and seasons change.
You are allowed to grieve what you don’t have and still appreciate what you do.
You are allowed to want more and still find meaning here.
This holiday does not get to decide your future.
It doesn’t get to measure your worth.
It’s simply a moment and you are more than any moment.
So if today feels quiet, let it be quiet.
If it feels heavy, let it be heavy.
And if you find small pockets of peace, let them be enough.
You are not alone in this, even if it feels that way right now.
And if you want to celebrate by curling up with a good book, I got the perfect one for you…
Read about Nasir & Neveah's journey in
Fallen: Sons of God.
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