“I’m just not good enough.”
“Maybe if I looked like her, someone would love me.”
“My parents never loved me, why would any man?”
Girl, snap out of it! These are some really depressing thoughts you’re having.
Women often question if we deserve to be loved. We can’t get over the chicken legs comment from our childhood. The “you keep naggin’ me …and she ain’t!” verbal dig from our last relationship. Or, is it because we really need to GET OFF OF THE GRAM, and stop comparing ourselves to other women.
The thing is – you’re not the only one going through it. Your man could also feel undeserving of happiness.
Does he make you feel guilty anytime you do something without him?
Does he accuse you of wanting to cheat?
Does he overreact to constructive criticism?
Here are ways to overcome obstacles in your relationship together:
Step 1: Communication
Yeah, yeah, I know. “Communication is key”- you’ve heard this a thousand times and I’m gonna say (or in this case, write) it again. When you don’t communicate things can build up pretty quickly. You’ll find yourself getting angry for no good reason (you know you do this sometimes ladies).
I mean, were you really that angry over the potato salad that one time?Communication needs practice, practice, and more practice. Click To Tweet
Keep cool, and stop bringing up Christmas 2013! You know which topics should stay off-limits.
Step 2: Childhood Wounds
Everyone went through something in their childhood. At some point, everyone has felt criticized, rejected, and unappreciated.
Sometimes, your man may trigger some of these old wounds to open. He might not respond to the text messages you sent him an hour ago, even though he’s been posting on Snapchat for the last 15 minutes. He doesn’t compliment your mom’s fried chicken recipe which you spent hours perfecting. He might even double book himself for date night and would rather go and see the game with his boys instead of taking you out to dinner.
The silent treatment just triggers hurt and anger in your partner. What you see on the TV screen and in movies doesn’t work. In real life, you’ll start using the silent treatment for a few days and guess what? You’ll be hearing it from him for all eternity because he left yo ass!
Do the opposite of what you would normally do. Recognize that this is a feeling from your childhood and talk to him about it.
Step 3: VisionOne of the major ways to overcome obstacles is to make sure you both have the same vision. Click To Tweet
As long as you are both on the same page and want the same things, your relationship will only get stronger.
Remember, you deserve to be loved and the love in your relationship can be as strong as you want it to be.
Do you sometimes fall into some of the traps mentioned in this post? How is that affecting your relationship?