In today’s dating world, we can feel a little like minnows surrounded by sharks. Why does it seem like men write all the rules?
Spoiler alert: they don’t write any rules. Like, absolutely none. As women, we are guilty of letting them get away with so much that they feel entitled to more. And ladies, that BS needs to stop. Now.
Don’t Excuse Behavior Just to Have Someone Around
The number one problem we have is that we are quick to make excuses for inexcusable behaviors just to have someone around. Personally, I’d rather be single than miserable. This can also trickle into our friendships and non-romantic relationships; if they don’t pull their weight or if they are emotionally and mentally draining, let them go. Don’t fall for pop-in or fair-weather relationships. You deserve better than being anyone’s second choice.
Take Him or Leave Him, But Don’t Think You Can Change Him
Your man has had a long time to be who he is. Don’t think you are the one that can magically change him. Chances are, you are just one of many women who thought they could “tame” him, and no one has, yet. Your mission isn’t to change him, your mission is to figure out what is acceptable behavior for you.
If his actions and behavior are not acceptable, leave him right there and move on. Being single is far better than forcing yourself to accept the unacceptable.Being single is far better than forcing yourself to accept the unacceptable. Click To Tweet
Don’t Confuse Lust and Love:
We way too ready to give it up, aren’t we? We think we are in control and that we hold the keys in the relationship because we choose when we let him sleep with us. A month later, we are crying into our Ben and Jerry’s because he hasn’t texted. Why? It’s pretty common knowledge that while we sleep with someone with our minds and emotions, men sleep with some physically. For us, we’ve given a piece of ourselves while for them, they got a piece. Have sex and have fun if that’s what you’re in to, but don’t think you are in love because of how you feel when you’re sexing him and don’t think he’s in love with you for sleeping with him.
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There will be Bad Dates
And that’s ok. Lighten up, girls. Not every date you go on will lead you to wedding bells and happily ever after. You have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding your prince. If he doesn’t make you happy, let it go. Repeat after me, “NEXT!”
Being Single is Not the End of the World:
Use your time alone to grow. Have fun, travel, and take advantage of only worrying about you and your own happiness. Once you find yourself in a relationship, “you” time will become a lot harder to find. Enjoy your toilet seat down while you can.
Be sure to read the other post I wrote about responsibility: 4 Ways To Take Responsibility For Yourself
Don’t Rush into a Relationship to Avoid Being Single
You’ve heard the saying, “good things come to those who wait?” This covers everything in life, including your relationships. The harder you look, the more likely you are to settle for something that isn’t right. Focus on you and stop worrying; chances are, a relationship is right around the next corner if you have a little patience.
Stop Playing Beat the Clock:
The desire to be in a relationship gets even worse as we get older. Despite society telling us, we are worthless if we’re not married by thirty, the truth is that more women are waiting until they get into their thirties before settling down. Don’t let your age force you into a situation that makes you miserable. Be happy, be patient, and be confidently single if that’s where you’re at.
Be Willing to Change:
Oh, you like the bad boy type? A little dangerous, kind of mysterious? How’s that been working out for you? You may have a “type,” but that shouldn’t exclude all other candidates from your dating life. You can’t expect things to change if you’re not willing to change them yourself.You can’t expect things to change if you’re not willing to change them yourself. Click To Tweet
Your dating habits may have led you to accept things that are unacceptable. Your “type” isn’t giving you the love you deserve, so why not give the computer geek from work a chance? Hold out for what you deserve, and you will be surprised what you get in return.
Don’t Lose Yourself in a Dead-End Relationship:
Not all relationships deserve the same energy. Don’t give all of yourself to someone who hasn’t earned it. Any successful relationship is a balancing act between two people, each giving 100% to the other.Don’t give all of yourself to someone who hasn’t earned it. Any successful relationship is a balancing act between two people, each giving 100% to the other. Click To Tweet
Don’t be the one giving 100% to someone who won’t meet you in the middle. If you give your body, mind, and soul to someone who isn’t trying just as hard as you, you’ll end up disappointed, watching the Hallmark channel and crying into your Ben and Jerry’s.
You know I was going to say it eventually, so here it is. Love yourself first. You can’t expect anyone else to love and respect you if you don’t love and respect yourself. When you realize that you don’t need anyone to complete you and that you are perfectly happy by yourself, you’ll find the love you deserve.
Being single isn’t a crime, so stop acting like it’s embarrassing. Being single and self-fulfilled is better than being with someone just to have a date on a Friday night. We are better than that; let’s hold out for the love we deserve.
Do you agree with what I’ve written here? How do you see it? Let me know in the comments.