“Just let it go.”
“You still mad about that?”
“Girl it’s been 12 years.”
Some of this may sound familiar to you, even in your own head (I’m not judging).
The number one solution to letting the past go and moving forward is that lovely F-word.
We hear it all the time whether it is from our parents or our places of worship on a Sunday morning.The #1 solution to letting the past go and moving forward is that lovely F-word: Forgiveness Click To Tweet
Personally, I struggle when I hear people talk about forgiving but they don’t tell you how to do it. Sure, It would be great if we could close our eyes and say “I forgive them” and the hurt all goes away. But that doesn’t work in real life.
And, subconsciously, we have society telling us to never let it go and to get even. Literally.
“If a b**** got beef with me we gon beef foreva”.
I’m going to share my 3 main laws to follow in your journey to forgiveness and to stop the blame.
1. It Is Between You And God
Forgiveness is not about having a sit-down with the person and making sure you tell it to their faces. “You did this to me. And you did that to me.” The sad truth is the person you need to forgive may be dead, or you may never see them again. Keep it between you and God.
2. You Are Not Forgetting When You Forgive
I’m going to make this absolutely clear. You don’t have to forget what the person did to you, but you can’t use what they did to you against them. (In essence, the opposite of Beyoncé’s “Resentment”).
3. It Is For You, Not The Person Who Hurt You
You are not giving anyone a hall pass to walk over to I’m-In-the-Clear-Land. Holding onto past events such as cheating in your relationship (Eniko Parrish, girl), abuse from your childhood, or other traumatic events is damaging to you.
Forgiveness is not about anyone else. It is about you taking your power back and not letting anything hold you down in the future. A lot of us make our decisions now based on past events. You need to make sure that you are not jeopardizing your future.
You go back to that place you were in – both mentally and emotionally before that moment you were hurt. And then the pain starts up all over again. You don’t want that!
If you’ve spent 12 days on the ground, I understand.
12 months and there should be some sign of life to you.
But if it’s been 12 years, and you’re still on the ground. You have got to learn how to forgive, let go and move on.
Letting go and moving on can be hard. Have you done this? Or do you sometimes hold on to those feelings of resentment? Let me know in the comments!