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Your Friend Is Cheating Should You Tell

Your Friend Is Cheating – Should You Tell?

I don’t believe this.

Is that who I think it is…?

Playas gon’ play.

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Cheating is one of the worst things that can happen to your friend. The devastation it causes is horrible, and the impact of being cheated on can last a long time. She’s not feeling right, eating right and sleeping right.

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When are these dogs gonna learn?!

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But…this time it’s your friend doing the lying and cheating. Your friend is the one being unfaithful!

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Your friend creeping around like a TLC hit song when she actually HAS a good man.

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You see her acting crazy, being a snappy lil’ crocodile with you and flippin’ tables at a baby shower – I had to mention Lyrica and Brooke’s mess over Safaree right?

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You tell yourself that it’s cool. Your loyalty is to your friend despite what she might be doing behind her boyfriend’s back. Your job as a best friend is to listen to her dilemma and not judge.

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You tell yourself that it’s cool. Your loyalty is to your friend despite what she might be doing behind her boyfriend’s back... Except... Click To Tweet


He’s your friend too.

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This is so messy, right? You have two friends whom you adore, they’re dating each other, and one is lying and cheating on the other. You’ve probably always been the one they run to when things need to be discussed about their relationship. (Think, Vince and Tamar, running to Toni in Bermuda).

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Now, on top of that, it’s your friend who’s cheating on her man. What are you going to do about this?

Well, I’m here to break down some of the things you’re gonna have to think about while you make your decision.

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In my book ‘A Real Love‘you can read how Baby faces this exact dilemma Start reading ‘A Real Love’ Now!

Did you see the cheating, really?

You need to make sure your eyes are not playing tricks on you.

Your friend has been acting really strange with her phone lately. She takes it everywhere with her and doesn’t let her boyfriend see it when the three of y’all are hangin’ out. Is she being unfaithful, or is she going through something with her family and wants to protect someone else’s privacy?

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Or, she’s been responding to a guy who recently slid into her DMs. You’re wondering “why the heck is she talkin’ to this random guy when she has a good guy at home?” Is she really cheating, or is she doing something stupid to make herself feel better?

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Is she really cheating, or is she doing something stupid to make herself feel better? Click To Tweet

Catching her in the act is another thing. Did you see her out to dinner with another guy? It could be a work thing, and you are jumping to conclusions. But, if your friend is messaging you saying he’s making some chicken soup to take over to his girl’s house because she’s feeling sick…and you see your friend sharing a lobster with another man when she said she would be at home…you might need to do some detective work.

Then there’s the obvious. You get home from a long hard day at work, and you hear skin slappin’ and a mattress creakin’. When you go to the kitchen for breakfast the next day, you find your friend flippin’ pancakes for a man you’ve never seen before. Ah hell!

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You need to figure out what you saw with your own two eyes and ask her about it first before going straight to him.

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Perhaps you could help your friend out by having her read a post I wrote about 4 Ways To Take Responsibility For Yourself

How long has this been going on?

There are a few ways she can explain herself. She was hiding her phone because she has a male friend that he feels insecure about. Her male friend can sometimes be a little flirty, and she didn’t want her man getting the wrong idea by reading something out of context. Or, something is going down with her sister, and she wants to protect her privacy. It could be innocent.

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The guy she was messaging on Insta was just for some harmless flirting to get back at her man for slidin’ into another girl’s DMs. She never intended for anything to come of it, and she just wanted to feel good.

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The dinner she went to was completely work related. She lied about being sick because her boyfriend doesn’t particularly like her work colleague. He thinks that he’s into her and is just scheduling these dinners to break up their relationship. She knows how insecure her man is and doesn’t want him to worry.

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That bed creakin’…It was a one-time thing, and she will never do it again. She was in a rut in her relationship and wanted to do something exciting and different for once. Besides, he’s cheated on her before, so she was on her Keyshia Cole, and he got what he deserved.

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Then there could be a completely different response. She is a shameless cheat who has had numerous affairs and has no intention of changing. She’s ‘sorry, not sorry’ and reminds you to mind your business.

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What is the right thing to do?

Both of them are your friends, and you want to protect both of them equally. There is no “right” time to tell your friend that his girlfriend is cheating on him. He will be destroyed either way.

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You just have to weigh up different factors. Do they have kids? Are they in a serious relationship or married? Are they getting married in a week? Is there some part of you that is secretly in love with your friend, and this has given him the best opportunity to dump her and pick you? (Hmmm!).

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Boyfriend, fiancé, married. Do you even care? Cheating is cheating. If you want to sweep it under the rug, you can. But if you want to tell your friend what his girl is up to, it will hurt a LOT! And what will the fallout be? You could lose both of your friends (and your godmother duties).

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Come Correct

If you’re going to tell him that his girl is cheating on him, you need to come correct with receipts. An accusation of cheating can cause waves in a relationship and could fracture the foundation that your friends have built. You need to come with receipts, screenshots, audio, video – go Cheaters on her ass!

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The worst case scenario would be if she made you look hella jealous and you ended up losing both of your friends for good. Make sure that when you come, you’re coming with facts.

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The decision of whether you should or shouldn’t tell your friend that his girl is cheating on him is up to you. Understand that whatever is in the dark will come to light. So, whether you tell or not, your friend will eventually find out. The question is: can you live with yourself and the role you decided to play?

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What do you think? Do you tell or keep it to yourself? Let me know in the comments, please!


  • Jenine says:

    In this case I would have to mind my business and let it come out in the wash, friend or no friend it could end bad for everyone including me. Like you stated it could come off like I’m jealous or I don’t want them together then that takes it down a whole other path. I’ll be there for my friend when it comes out to assist with the pain.

  • Mary Polk says:

    She’s not my friend if she don’t tell me

  • Shekitta Franklin says:

    Very good blog! This is very controversial because this situation just happened with a cousin of mine. Her man put a move on my sister in law and it was told. She was pissed, which is understandable. We were put in the situation and it was awkward. Do we tell or do we not tell? It would’ve been a loss on either end because of how my cousin is. We told and she handled it, but I don’t know if she left him or not. Haven’t talked to her since it happened.

    • Porscha says:

      That is a HARD situation to be in! Like you said, you lose on either end. In the end, she knew what she was dealing with and she made the decision to either stay or go. But you did your part!

  • Jessica Mckennedy says:

    This is hard because I would want my friend to tell me but I’ve been in situations when I’ve told but they stay together and now the friendship is strained. But if I’m friends with both that’s a tough one. I think I’d confront the cheating friend but I’m unsure if I’d tell my other friend what’s going on. I guess I really don’t know what I’d do until I was put in the situation.

  • Dee Dee says:

    Well truthfully speaking, I’m a strong believer in minding my own business. What’s done in the dark comes to the light eventually. Last thing I want to do is be in the mist of someone else drama. I am not the Jerry Springer show!

  • Sunni Nykohl says:

    If I’m friends with both, I’m telling. Sorry not sorry.

  • Katrina Marie Allen says:

    I’d need to talk to my friend and call her out. She needs to make a decision and not string both men along. Also it’s not fair to my other friend nor me.

  • Joshua D thompson says:

    I have personally suffered a fair share of infidelity by my ex wife who had multiple affairs during our marriage. I got a divorce after catching her in the act severally, however I needed extra help to do this so I had to hire a private investigator with the name called BILLHACKWIZARD- Everyone knows that cheating partners are the most sneaky and her phone was always glued to her so I could not have physical access no matter how much I tried. The good thing is that this Private Investigator didn’t even need to physically have my wife’s phone to get in, he hacked the device and diverted all my wife’s messages directly into my phone. Bill offers any sort of hacking related issues ranging from hacking schools data base, upgrade of grades, IP tracking and monitoring of any social media accounts etc. If you need similar help contact him via the gmail billhackwizard @ gmail dot com or text/call him on +1(314) 833-9209 ) AND you can chat him up on Whatsapp messenger +1(314) 635-7319 ) I really hate infidelity and I am trying to help everyone that is in such an emotionally abusive relationship so thank me later.

  • Dario Davis says:

    Having an affair is wrong when you both agreed on an exclusive relationship or marriage. Unless it is an open relationship or marriage. I would rather end the relationship or marriage if i promised to be loyal, than have an affair with someone else. It is a huge betrayal, and it is heart breaking when the other partner finds out.

    I have a friend who was on the verge of cheating on her partner, her reasons were that, he doesn’t tell her she is beautiful anymore, he never compliments her, does not buy her gifts, he doesn’t even know her proper shoe size. Then she met a man at the airport who told her she was gorgeous, then she forgets about her 12 years marriage and three children. And wanted to actually go on a date with the man. She said, he understands her the way her husband does not, he makes her smile and brings some sparks in her life. He finds her attractive, her husband doesn’t .

    I advised her, do not go on any date with this man, it might start out like an innocent conversation, the gradually it begins to get personal and then you begin to think of this person in a way you should not. You made a vow to stay faithful in your marriage, instead i rather you talk to your husband about how you feel. He may not be doing it on purpose. If you do this, it doesn’t end in one date, before you know it, you become physically or romantically attached to this person while you are bound to another. Affairs causes more damage in ways one doesn’t realize.

    If you don’t find fulfillment in your relationship, discuss it with your partner, unless it is an open relationship then you will not be betraying your partner. People who have affairs claim it just happened. i do not agree with that, affairs do not just happen. An affair is a choice , there is a threshold line in monogamous relationships and you choose to cross it. It is a bad idea to have an affair in an exclusive relationship because there is betrayal of the primary relationship, there is lying, covering your tracks and there is also worry (Will she/he find out?)What will people think when i am caught? when you have an affair, you are choosing to be out of integrity with yourself. If you think its a good thing, why do it in secrecy? If your relationship is awful, you either work to change it or leave it, you don’t have to hurt the other person by having an affair.

    • Porscha says:

      If you think its a good thing, why do it in secrecy?

      So true! Thanks for sharing. I hope your friend’s marriage improves, and yes much better to talk to your partner.?

  • Shavon says:

    Never been in a situation like before.
    But if it would to happen I think I would mind my business. Or confront them individually on there wrong doings.

  • Amilia McQueen says:

    This situation is real, and I’ve been through this before. Both of my friends are very dear to me, they consider me their sister. I love them both. My husband and I were in their wedding ,and our children love each other. When I saw what was going on,I was kind of blown. I was wondering if my eyes were playing tricks on me. I walked away without my friend seeing me. I also saw her spouse who is my friend too do something shady. I dodged that bullet real quick. When I got home I spoke with my husband about it-first to kind of get a feel on his thoughts , and ask for his opinion. He ask me did I see anything that was inappropriate or out of line? Because even though we are close with then both, we should stay out of it. I explained to him exactly what I witnessed and even told him that I snuck out before our friend saw me. So to be honest when I saw both of my friends I approached them separately and let them know that it’s wrong and I wasn’t going to judge them, but I also told them to dead it what ever it was. Because I don’t want to be put into a situation like that. I also told them to come clean, because if I saw it, others may have too. I advised them separately to talk to each other and be honest, because we are adults and we make mistakes and sometimes bad choices, to try and go to counseling and see what happens from there with their marriage. They both went as far as saying he /she did it to them before. So I broke it down to them If they did do it before and they stayed with each other that means they forgave each other. I told them Let it go. We can’t say we forgive someone and turn around and do the same exact thing that was done to us. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Don’t work it out for their children, because that’s not going to turn out well for any of them. Do it for yourself. Life is short and living your life as a lie will get you nothing but heartache and pain, left with so much regret.
    As for myself we all are flawed and deserve a second chance, but before you go that route make sure it’s worth it. I’ll definitely always do the right thing, but getting involved in other people relationships never works out well for you. Know your facts first and speak to both parties involved . We are grown adults and know exactly what we are doing. Own your wrongs and try to right them, if at all possible.
    Thanks sweetie…….

  • Lashun Moore says:

    I actually have been in this situation before where two really good friends we’re together have children together both consider me a sister I was in the wedding and all. After a few years of being married it didn’t work out and I found myself deciding to stay completely out of it. Both individuals had their version of why their marriage was not working even though one of them was seeing someone else I advised both to go to counseling and see if it was worth saving. Needless to say they did separate but they still remain married. So no I did not tell but I did address the issue with both of them individually with positive encouragement. People have to be real mature enough to identify and accept their faults with their choices and actions. My motto is this if you want to cheat do not waste my time , I’m not playing games with nobody. I do not share. You get 1 time to make it right after that im done.
    Thanks love..

    • Porscha says:

      You handled that very maturely. I like what you said about them:

      Both individuals had their version of why their marriage was not working

      This is a good thing to remember about people’s marriages. Well done for positively encouraging them. ❤

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