Is It Real Love If He’s Not Yours?

Is It Real Love If He’s Not Yours?

“Do you know that even until now, I still can’t get you off my mind?”

“I’ve always wanted to do this, even back when we first met.”

“It’s so hard to control myself around you.”

These are all of the right things a woman wants to hear. A man who can’t stop thinking about you, wanting you and desiring you. Yasss!

You make him wanna leave the one he’s with and start a new relationship.

Only problem is…

He’s your best friend’s husband.

Real Love coverBuy my latest book: A Real Love. Read how this romance unfolds.

Stop the madness!

(But, shhh…let’s entertain it for a while y’all).

The “so-called” best friend who puts you down all the time, humiliates you and makes you feel worthless.

The “so-called” best friend who puts you down all the time, humiliates you and makes you feel worthless. | A Real Love by Porscha Sterling Click To Tweet

“Are you really getting that? You’re getting big ya know. Waiter, she’ll have the salad instead.”

“You’re never going to get married looking like you do now”.

My husband loves me because I keep it snatched. Get it together now!”


You can also check out another blog post I wrote: Overcome Relationship Obstacles and Stay Strong Together


The cutting remarks, “helpful” suggestions and subtle (or not-so-subtle) jabs have all taken their toll.

But, there are other reasons why women cheat with their best friend’s husband (hold on tight while we take a stroll down CRAZY-AS-ALL-GET-OUT lane):

  1. The husband is easily available

You don’t even have to try to get him. Whenever you’re over at the house he uses any excuse to touch you when she’s not looking. Why hunt for a man when there’s one right on your doorstep?

You don’t even have to try to get him. Whenever you’re over at the house he uses any excuse to touch you when she’s not looking. Why hunt for a man when there’s one right on your doorstep? | A Real Love by Porscha Sterling Click To Tweet

  1. She doesn’t deserve him

You know for a fact that she’s cheated on him multiple times before. Paired with the fact that you can’t stand how she treats you anymore – why not help him cheat?

  1. You should never have given him away

You met him first and thought that he would be perfect for your bestie – not realising you still had feelings for him! You’re just taking what’s rightfully yours.

So, let’s shake the crazy out and common sense into women who think it’s okay to cheat with their best friend’s man (even if she is a nasty piece of work!):

How you get them is how you lose them

If you’re planning to keep your best friend’s husband (provided he even divorces her), what’s to stop him from doing the same thing to you?

You will never be a priority

He slides you in whenever it is convenient for him. More importantly, when he and your gal pal aren’t gettin’ it on. Are sloppy seconds that attractive?

Honor is the currency of elevation

That’s right – a lesson to be remembered from Pastor John Gray. Let it sink in. How are you honoring yourself in this ‘entanglement’ and where do you want to go in life?

So is it ever right to cheat with your best friend’s man?

Maybe…

Giving it up on the first date – what’s wrong with that?

Giving it up on the first date – what’s wrong with that?

“You’re a slut!”

“Damn, dropping your panties on the first date? What a whore!”

“Got your legs open like a 7-11…24 hours a day!”

real housewives of atlanta nene GIF by RealityTVGIFs

Ouch.

This type of slut shaming is very common nowadays.

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Remember seeing Amber Rose crying at a slut walk? She broke down hearing Wiz Khalifa’s lyric “I fell in love with a stripper, and fell out of love quicker”.

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Or, how about seeing a sexy picture of Blac Chyna (and that IG video! Wink, wink)? Hearing judgment rain down on her from men and women ALL OVER Twitter, whilst the video was leaked without her consent!

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And, at the same time, Donna from Black Ink Crew is filmed dippin’ and doin’ it in a bathroom at a local restaurant. People chanted “Ho! Ho! Ho!” so loud, my ears were ringing.

get out blackinkcrew GIF by VH1

Well, this will be about intimacy on a whole other level. For the first time in history, women are dating without a chaperone. Amazing, right?! But, this comes with a major dilemma.

Should we give “the cookie” away on the first date?

smile GIF by Steve Harvey TV

Now, Mr Steve Harvey has famously stuck by his “90 Day Rule” where, you do not have sex within the first 90 days of dating a man. This seems like a healthy compromise for women who are afraid of the stigma that comes from having sex on the first date.

However, there are some men who have stuck around for the 90 days and, have still proceeded to hit it then quit it.

 

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And, there are some men who have had sex on the first date then, have watched the SAME woman walk down the aisle a few years later.

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The best response to this dilemma is…

Do the BEST FOR YOU!

love and hip hop trust GIF by VH1

via GIPHY

No one has the right to tell you whether or not you should have sex on the first date or even wait until you are married. This is about your own emotional and spiritual journey.

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And, if you sighed or burst out laughing at the “waiting to married” line – that’s not cool either. Slut shaming or modesty shaming is foul on both sides.

wild n out no GIF by Identity

But, let’s talk to the women who want to get freaky.

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You’ve gone on a date with Mr. Tall-Dark-And-Handsome. The chemistry is off-the-charts from the moment you two met.

He picked you up early (CP time DOES NOT exist).

real housewives of atlanta no GIF by Yosub Kim, Content Strategy Director

and, in his OWN car (we don’t want NO scrub!).

tlc no scrubs GIF by KISS FM UK

He held all of the doors for you, stood up when you stood up and you had REAL good conversation. He respects you and you like how he conducts himself.

And, at the same time…

He makes you feel desirable and sexy and makes it clear that you are HIS woman. You can’t keep your eyes off his muscle outlined by his shirt. The way he always manages to maintain physical contact with you by brushing your leg and arm. Woah! You feel like you’re on a completely different planet. And, he’s had them “eyes” on you all night (you know what I’m talking about).

cardi b ok GIF by 2017 MTV Video Music Awards

He drops you off and is waiting for a signal for you to invite him inside.

All there is to say is if YOU want to…

Go and get your bad boy!

real housewives of atlanta GIF

So… what do you think? Sex on the first date…yay or nay? Let me know in the comments.

[Opinion] Urban Fiction Genre – A Reply to a Reader

[Opinion] Urban Fiction Genre – A Reply to a Reader

A reader left her opinion on my blog post, [OPINION+VIDEO] The Urban Fiction Genre – What It Is And What It Isn’t. She has since withdrawn her comment, however, I was able to capture it. You may read her full comment here.

Below is my reply, and I would certainly welcome your comments, so please leave them below.

Contrary to how some may feel:

  • Not ALL black women enjoy wearing a black eye after asking their boyfriend to pick up after himself.
  • Not ALL black women are trying to get as many baby daddies as birthday candles they blow out each year.
  • Not ALL black women get abortions like hair salon appointments.

In fact… I don’t know too many who would say they enjoy this (or any!).

There are so many stereotypes about black women out there in the world. But what I know to be true is:

  • ALL black women are powerful.
  • ALL black women are ethereal.
  • ALL black women are unyielding.

Do we make mistakes? Hell, yes. We are human, after all! We live and learn, sometimes repeat the same mistakes and learn again. We are liberating ourselves from the societal constraints in films like: “Girls Trip”, music by my Queen: “Lemonade” and, my favorite tool for liberation?

African American Urban Fiction.

Writers, like me, use our creative license to give you an Urban Fiction storyline that you will enjoy but also learn from. These may not be the typically socially conscious book but they are still designed to uplift, inspire and inform as well as entertain readers as we illustrate the dangers of urban life. Think about books like “The Coldest Winter Ever”, “Moth to a Flame”, “Life” (yes, Bae’s book), “Midnight”, we can go on and on…

All of these traditional and early urban stories demonstrated the dangers and misfortunes of urban life and taught a lesson about the street life while also being entertaining. Some end happily and some don’t. It’s the same with the current wave of urban books.

There are reasons many love to read Urban Fiction. Are there parts which are distasteful? YES! But, the same can and should be said about other genres as well. The reality is that many of the different scenarios we shine a light on are actually true to real-life situations.

There are reasons many love to read Urban Fiction. Are there parts which are distasteful? YES! But, the same can and should be said about other genres as well. Click To Tweet
  • There ARE black women out there who utilise abortions as a form of birth control.
  • There ARE black women who glamorise lighter skin and denigrate women of a darker hue.
  • There ARE black women who take back guys who are abusive and cheat.

But guess what? It’s not just African American women. TRIFLING is not relegated to a specific color. Black, brown and white populations have trifling people in their demographic makeup. It’s not something that we own but it is a part of life that plagues people in the urban/hood areas.

TRIFLING is not relegated to a specific color. Black, brown and white populations have trifling people in their demographic makeup. Click To Tweet

The majority of urban books are framed as a cautionary tale. Plenty of books show how terrible outcomes come about because of the abortions, abuse, unprotected sex, etc. – AIDS, deaths and such included… People don’t just get off easy in our books. They pay the consequences for their actions.

Sure, there is a love story and the hero often may be someone who talks and acts reckless and may even be disrespectful but the character always shows growth from there as the series progresses… just like in any other genre.

Other genres have their negative repeat issues that circulate in their books. Take a minute to scroll through ‘mainstream’ romance novels and you’ll see that everybody over there has a ‘Christian Grey BDSM guy’ who sexually enslaves the timid, shy heroine, or a bad ass biker boy who shuns love for casual sex but eventually finds the one he can’t resist, or what about the billionaire romance where the bad ass mafia heir finds true love with the morally sound good girl he just can’t resist?

Image of a quote

Bleh.

And the way black women are represented? Some mainstream authors love to have a “blue-eyed blonde” or typical looking character type. All genres have a “type” but I think the urban authors I’ve read have been great with having a variety of physical make-ups in our books.

The truth is that Black women come in all shapes and sizes… and I’ve seen that variation in the books that I’ve read. I’ve seen that variation in the books I’ve written.

And where do we get this notion from that an ‘exotic look’ means the character is not entirely black? With all the different features that Black women have (high cheekbones, almond/slanted eyes, etc) ‘exotic’ is most definitely a description that pertains to a Black woman. A Black woman can look ‘exotic’ because she has a Jamaican, Nigerian, Trinidadian and American background… all ‘black’ areas. If you think ‘exotic’ equals ‘European’ or that Black women can’t have long hair or light eyes, YOU may be part of the problem.

And where do we get this notion from that an 'exotic look' means the character is not entirely black? With all the different features that Black women have 'exotic' is most definitely a description that pertains to a Black woman. Click To Tweet

And, let’s face it.

  • Readers love waiting for the scene where the man who claims to be in love ends up in a compromising situation with another woman.
  • Readers smile with glee while reading the scene where he comes crawling back and begs for her forgiveness.
  • Readers read with bated breath when, in frustration, he punches the wall next to her head and backs her up to the bed (yes, Nelly, It’s getting hot in here!).

And readers also love to see the characters work through the dysfunction. They love to see the victorious moment or the lesson that is learned at the end. And that’s why we are here.

What do you think? Did you read the reader’s comment on Urban Fiction? Be sure to let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

[VIDEO] How To Help Your Publishing Company Promote Your Book

[VIDEO] How To Help Your Publishing Company Promote Your Book

Proper promotion is the lifeblood of the industry and will often make or break the success of your book, no matter how good it is. Your publishing company will undoubtedly assist in the promotion of your book but understand that this by itself isn’t enough.

A major part of being and establishing yourself as an author is the promotion you consistently do surrounding your books. Here are some tried and tested tips to catapult your book promotional strategies.

Promote daily

Be proactive. You cannot sit on your laurels and assume that just because you’ll get some promotion from your publishing company that it will be sufficient. Remember that publishing companies have numerous books to promote. You may have one or two. Focus your energy on promoting your projects daily. Be consistent. The more eyes that see your promotions, the better.

 

Create a professional Facebook page

As an author, you need a business page you use daily to promote your projects. Facebook is one of the biggest social media platforms, and your potential reach as an author is greatly helped by how you use this platform. Interact with your audience and like-minded readers. Concentrate on establishing a strong brand. Don't just promote your material but be engaging. Click To Tweet Make sure to take the time to display your personality. That in itself will attract potential readers to you.

Create an Amazon Central page

Once you’ve released something on the Amazon platform, you have the ability to create a page linked to your work that has various necessary information. This is the perfect place for reader’s to go to see what else you may have written.

Create excitement

You have to generate buzz surrounding your books. You can do this by pulling pictures of what characters look like, including excerpts and blurbs, offering a giveaway, etc. There are some ways you can make your book look incredibly appealing by implementing specific promotional tactics. Be creative and be consistent. Once excitement is high, don’t let your foot off the gas.

Discover more valuable promotional tips by watching the video!

4 Ways To Take Responsibility For Yourself

4 Ways To Take Responsibility For Yourself

When a Queen finds her King, she goes from strong to invincible. Strong women have to make tough decisions that require them to use their head instead of their heart. Every strong woman knows and values the worth of her king. Soulmates never dissipate.

“Naw, I don’t wanna grow up,” you say to yourself. But, we all have to at some point.

There is a moment in all of our lives when we have to step up and take responsibility for anything and everything in our lives. Where you are is a culmination of every single decision you have made up until this point.

Don’t know where to start because …?

I have your back though. Here are 4 key ways for you to start taking responsibility in your own life.

1. Stop Making Excuses

The blame song is a really old record you need to stop playing over and over. Be brave enough to know that you owe yourself the truth. Be brave and admit it.

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2. Listen To Yourself

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Remember, when you point the finger at somebody else, there are 3 pointing straight back at ya. Click To Tweet

Remember, when you point the finger at somebody else, there are 3 pointing straight back at ya. If you find yourself saying things like “She didn’t do what she was supposed to do…” or “If only Kevin wouldn’t go buying mansions for 32-year-old masseuses…”

(Oooops Wendy), then you need to stop and think. These patterns are no good for you, and you need to stop them right away.

Learning to take responsibility for things that happen in your own life is something you can take 100% ownership of.

Learning to take responsibility for things that happen in your own life is something you can take 100% ownership of. Click To Tweet

Warning!

In a relationship, it’s something we women need to be careful about doing. Make sure you only take responsibility for things that are completely within your control and have your name on it. As you get further along in your relationship, you’re going to have to learn some things about making those tough decisions.

With your head and not your heart.

As you get further along in your relationship, you’re going to have to learn some things about making those tough decisions. With your head and not your heart. Be sure to read the post: Overcome Relationship Obstacles and Stay Strong Together

Here are 2 reminders to help you with making difficult decisions.

3. Trust Your Gut Instinct

“When ya know, ya know”. We all see women who have stayed with cheating men and we wonder “How the hell is she doing it?” Well, what if you love literally every single thing about him and it was a one-off. Some of us would go, “Damn right, I’m gone”.

It all comes down to your instinct – no matter what your head or heart say about the matter. Trust your gut. It never lets you down.

4. What Do You Value Most?

Trust. Honesty. Loyalty. Soulmate. There are so many standards and principles we have that can never be messed with. Make sure that the hard decisions you make are in line with your values.

For example, if your most important value is to stay with your King, then you’ll be able to stick with him regardless of anything. Know your values and act according to them. When you know yourself, you know what to do and what you really want.

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When you know yourself, you know what to do and what you really want. Click To Tweet

As you get fiercer and wiser, learn to hold yourself accountable and trust your intuition. Would love to hear about a time you stood strong and true to you. Let me know in the comments!

You Can’t Choose Your Family… Or Can You?

You Can’t Choose Your Family… Or Can You?

“Blood is thicker than water.”

Well, so is cornbread and fried chicken.

Family isn’t about DNA. Plenty of us have blood relatives who we never see except at Thanksgiving (and that’s cos they came for our sweet potato pie – not us, boo!).

Some of us have parents who adore us and will do anything for us. We also have family members who get on our very last nerve…

…but then we can always get it together.

 

Importantly, there are others out there with parents who may have split up and started new families. You may not feel as much of a priority as your step-siblings.

 

Many of us may have abusive parents who make your life a living hell.

Or how about those of you who have never even met your parents?

There are aunts and uncles who don’t make an effort to get to know you. When they call it’s to compare their children’s achievements to yours.

“Ohhhh, my daughter got all A’s and your girl got a B in Math. Might want to check that sista”.

Family can take any shape or size. A single mom or dad, step-families, grandparents raising their grandkids, adoptive or foster parents, and every unique setup out there.

Here are 6 qualities that you should look for in the people you choose to be your family.

Here are 6 qualities that you should look for in the people you choose to be your family. Click To Tweet

1. Communication

There are so many conversations I start when I need some advice. But if the person I’m talking to makes it about them, I know ‘they ain’t family.’ Be surrounded by people who listen to you.

2. Resilience

There will be times in your life when you need someone to step-up and be there for you. Get strong people on your team.

3. Commitment

Ensure your relationship is a top priority for the other person. Okay, so sometimes they may have something going on but, they shouldn’t stand you up all of the time or be unreliable.

If you find this a struggle, be sure to check out this post:  Overcome Relationship Obstacles And Stay Strong

4. Spiritual Wellness

If you catch yourself avoiding conversations about the Holy Ghost, reconsider who can help you be the very best version of yourself.

 

5. Appreciation

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Your family should show they appreciate you and this should go both ways.

 

6. Time Together

Once or twice a year isn’t gonna cut it.

Make sure your family members are putting in the time to show up for you.

No matter what your family looks like, be proud of the family you have built and are an integral part of.

No matter what your family looks like, be proud of the family you have built and are an integral part of. Click To Tweet

You matter, and you deserve to surrounded by people who 100% believe in that.

When you have family, you have everything. Do you agree? Do you have an ‘unconventional’ family? I wanna hear all about it in the comments below.

 

Bad Boys Do It Better 5 Paperback Giveaway

Bad Boys Do It Better 5 Paperback Giveaway

Your chance to win a signed paperback copy of:

 

Bad Boys Do It Better 5

This time, there will be ONLY 1 WINNER

It’s simple:

You sign up for the chance to win.

You refer as many friends as possible so you are entered many times.

The more times you’re entered, the more chances you have of winning!

You can share on Facebook, Twitter, by email or anywhere you can post your personal link.

Good Luck—The Porscha Sterling Team

Terms & Conditions

  1. Eligibility: This Campaign is open only to those who sign up at the https://www.porschasterling.com/bad-boys-5-paperback-giveaway and who are at least 18 years old as of the date of entry. The Campaign is open to All legal residents of USA, and is void where prohibited by law. Employees of GrowthRocks, Viral-loops and Porscha Sterling, its affiliates, subsidiaries, advertising and promotion agencies, and suppliers, (collectively the “Employees”), and immediate family members and/or those living in the same household of Employees are not eligible to participate in the Campaign. The Campaign is subject to all applicable federal, state, and local laws and regulations. Void where prohibited.
  2. Agreement to Rules: By participating, the Contestant (“You”) agree to be fully unconditionally bound by these Rules, and You represent and warrant that You meet the eligibility requirements. In addition, You agree to accept the decisions of Porscha Sterling as final and binding as it relates to the content of this Campaign.
  3. Campaign Period: Entries will be accepted online starting on January 29, 2018, 18:00 EST and ending February 4, 2018. All online entries must be received by February 4, 2018.
  4. How to Enter: The Campaign must be entered by submitting an entry using the online form provided at https://www.porschasterling.com/bad-boys-5-paperback-giveaway. The entry must fulfil all Campaign requirements, as specified, to be eligible to win a prize. Entries that are incomplete or do not adhere to the rules or specifications may be disqualified at the sole discretion of Porscha Sterling. Optional verbiage to include: The system manages double bookings automatically, but in any case, you may enter only once. You must provide the information requested. You may not enter more times than indicated by using multiple email addresses, identities, or devices in an attempt to circumvent the rules. If You use fraudulent methods or otherwise attempt to circumvent the rules, your submission may be removed from eligibility at the sole discretion of Porscha Sterling. The above applies also in cases that You will try to take advantage of people you refer by using your referral code to promote the contest. It indeed results in getting the referee emails but actually, the referees have no chance to win as they will all use your referral code and they will only assist you to win.
  5. Prizes: The Winner of the Campaign (the “Winner”) will receive the following prize:
    * Signed copy of Bad Boys Do It Better 5: In Love With An Outlaw series – Estimated retail price US$10

    Actual/appraised value may differ at time of prize award. The specifics of the prize shall be solely determined by Porscha Sterling. No cash or other prize substitution shall be permitted except at Porscha Sterling’s discretion. The prize is nontransferable. Any and all prize related expenses, including without limitation any and all federal, state, and/or local taxes, shall be the sole responsibility of Winner. No substitution of prize or transfer/assignment of prize to others or request for the cash equivalent by Winner is permitted. Acceptance of prize constitutes permission for Porscha Sterling to use Winner’s name, likeness, and entry for purposes of advertising and trade without further compensation, unless prohibited by law. Odds: The odds of winning depend on the number of eligible entries received. The more people you refer to join the campaign, the more chances you have to win by ranking higher up on the leaderboard.
  6. Winner Selection and Notification: Winner(s) will be resulted in real-time by the time that the contest will be finished, under the supervision of Porscha Sterling. Winner will be notified by email within five (5) days following appointment of Winner(s). Porscha Sterling shall have no liability for Winner’s failure to receive notices due to spam, junk e-mail or other security settings or for Winner’s provision of incorrect or otherwise non-functioning contact information. If Winner cannot be contacted, is ineligible, fails to claim the prize within 30 days from the time award notification was sent, or fails to timely return a completed and executed declaration and release as required, the prize may be forfeited and an alternate Winner selected. Receipt by Winner of the prize offered in this Campaign is conditioned upon compliance with any and all federal, state, and local laws and regulations. ANY VIOLATION OF THESE OFFICIAL RULES BY WINNER (AT Porscha Sterling‘S SOLE DISCRETION) WILL RESULT IN WINNER’S DISQUALIFICATION AS WINNER OF THE CAMPAIGN, AND ALL PRIVILEGES AS WINNER WILL BE IMMEDIATELY TERMINATED.
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  9. Terms & Conditions: Porscha Sterling reserves the right, in its sole discretion, to cancel, terminate, modify or suspend the Campaign should virus, bug, non-authorized human intervention, fraud, or other cause beyond Porscha Sterling’s control corrupt or affect the administration, security, fairness, or proper conduct of the Campaign. In such case, Porscha Sterling may select the Winner from all eligible entries received prior to and/or after (if appropriate) the action taken by Porscha Sterling. Porscha Sterling reserves the right, in its sole discretion, to disqualify any individual who tampers or attempts to tamper with the entry process or the operation of the Campaign or website or violates these Terms & Conditions. Porscha Sterling has the right, in its sole discretion, to maintain the integrity of the Campaign, to void votes for any reason, including, but not limited to: multiple entries from the same user from different IP addresses; multiple entries from the same computer in excess of that allowed by Campaign rules; or the use of bots, macros, scripts, or other technical means for entering. Any attempt by an entrant to deliberately damage any website or undermine the legitimate operation of the Campaign may be a violation of criminal and civil laws. Should such attempt be made, Porscha Sterling reserves the right to seek damages to the fullest extent permitted by law.
  10. Limitation of Liability: By entering, You agree to release and hold harmless Porscha Sterling and its subsidiaries, affiliates, advertising and promotion agencies, partners, representatives, agents, successors, assigns, employees, officers, and directors from any liability, illness, injury, death, loss, litigation, claim, or damage that may occur, directly or indirectly, whether caused by negligence or not, from: (i) such entrant’s participation in the Campaign and/or his/her acceptance, possession, use, or misuse of any prize or any portion thereof; (ii) technical failures of any kind, including but not limited to the malfunction of any computer, cable, network, hardware, or software, or other mechanical equipment; (iii) the unavailability or inaccessibility of any transmissions, telephone, or Internet service; (iv) unauthorized human intervention in any part of the entry process or the Promotion; (v) electronic or human error in the administration of the Promotion or the processing of entries.
  11. Disputes: THIS Campaign IS GOVERNED BY THE LAWS OF Atlanta, Georgia, WITHOUT RESPECT TO CONFLICT OF LAW DOCTRINES. As a condition of participating in this Campaign, participant agrees that any and all disputes that cannot be resolved between the parties, and causes of action arising out of or connected with this Campaign, shall be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action, exclusively before a court located in Atlanta, Georgia having jurisdiction. Further, in any such dispute, under no circumstances shall the participant be permitted to obtain awards for, and hereby waives all rights to, punitive, incidental, or consequential damages, including reasonable attorney’s fees, other than participant’s actual out-of-pocket expenses (i.e. costs associated with entering this Campaign). Participant further waives all rights to have damages multiplied or increased.
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[VIDEO] 5 Things To Look For In A Publishing House

[VIDEO] 5 Things To Look For In A Publishing House

The publishing house you select to publish your book matters more than you may realize. While your goal is to undoubtedly get your book represented by your top choice publishing house, it’s best to know exactly what to look for when deciding on which publisher to go with. This decision is no small feat and should be reached after exhaustive consideration.

But what should you look for in a publishing company? Many people don’t even know where to start and may ignore specific red flags simply because they don’t know any better. Watch the video to find out. Not got time to watch? Scroll down to read 5 key tips to bear in mind.

Professionalism

There should be a clear air and level of professionalism that can be readily determined by how the company conducts themselves. Things like websites, book covers, all images, along with how the staff conducts themselves on public social spaces.

The Team

Make sure the people who represent the publishing house are as legit as they say. Are they knowledgeable about the industry and its particular sector? Do they also have published work? Is it of admirable quality? You should know the answers to these questions before choosing any particular publisher.

Make sure the people who represent the publishing house are as legit as they say. Click To Tweet

Vision

What is the publishing houses vision? Are they reader focused or author focused? It is possible that they could be both? How is this displayed and exhibited in their rhetoric and marketing strategies? How do they embody this specific culture?

Have you seen the video I made about how to submit a manuscript? Check it out here.

The Environment

Where does the focus lie? Is it one that encourages the focus on brands, careers, and development? Are they enriching and encouraging? Do they want to take on more books and expand their reach because it matters and they care?

Supportive

It is imperative that you choose a team that is cohesive and supportive of the work you do. Click To TweetOne that intrinsically cares about the bottom line and getting your work in front of eager, hungry eyes. Be mindful of who you are going to work with and how they work with others. The level of support you get in various ways makes all the difference in the launching experience.

Do you have any other tips to help authors choose a publisher? Please let me know in the comments below.

 

Bad Boys – Why We Want ‘Em

Bad Boys – Why We Want ‘Em

Every girl wants a bad boy. Even bad boys can have hearts dipped in gold.

We know they’re no good for us. But we don’t care.

Bad Boys for life!

We love everything about them and their swag draws us in like a girl to a Fenty Beauty sale.

I’m not here to warn you to stay away.

I’m here to tell you to go for your bad boy. As quiet as it’s kept, some bad boys have their hearts dipped in gold.

Have you been following the Bad Boys Do It Better – In Love With An Outlaw series? Be sure to get your copy of Bad Boys Do It Better 5 – released Jan 17, 2018.

Let’s take a look at why we love Bad Boys, shall we?

1. Bad Boys Are Fine

Let’s keep it 100.

Bad boys are some fine-looking specimens.

Think tall, strong, handsome  (well, I am). They’re a triple threat. Meet the cast of bad boys (photos included!) in Bad Boys Do It Better 5 – In Love With An Outlaw.

But, don’t forget they may have a great personality. Most people view bad boys as dogs who don’t deserve the time of day. Some bad boys can be the perfect gentlemen, so don’t write them off.

2. Forbidden Fruit

We don’t want to follow in the footsteps of Eve exactly, but come on! The look-but-don’t-touch thing they have going on is definitely irresistible.

A word of caution would be to check how ‘forbidden’ they are.

25 to life for armed robbery isn’t cute.

3. Confidence Overload

Bad boys are completely unapologetic. They are bad all day every day, and they don’t care what other people think of them.

They drink, smoke, drive fast, they even walk in a way that makes you do a triple-take. You love that confidence – especially when it’s used to protect you.

You want your man to be confident and to feel like you have someone strong at your back. Remember dating that guy who wouldn’t do anything when his mama, grandma, sister, aunt, niece, cousin had something nasty to say to you.

You want your man to be confident and to feel like you have someone strong at your back. #badboys Click To Tweet

Ewww. We don’t want that, do we ladies?

4. The Excitement

Bad boys can show you a whole different perspective on life. The thrill of being with them can be exactly what you need to get out of the mundane everyday life you may be leading right now. Bad boys don’t care for the rules and like to live life to the fullest.

Bad boys can show you a whole different perspective on life, they don’t care for the rules and like to live life to the fullest. #badboys Click To Tweet

5. Bad Boys Don’t Change

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m all for finding your diamond in the rough who is sweet, caring, and all loving on you. However, chances are your bad boy has a past which may still be following him around. You have to decide if you can trust him completely and leave behind what happened in the past.

Some guys play the field all their lives. They won’t change for any woman. They’ll change for the right woman – naturally. Don’t go out and snag a bad boy thinking he will turn into a one-woman man because you are different. Your bad boy will reveal his true self to you if you are the one for him.

Be sure to check out my post on how to overcome relationship obstacles.

What do you think? Are you okay with dating a bad boy, or do you like your bad boys in books only?  Be sure to check out the Sneak Peek of Bad Boys Do It Better – In Love With An Outlaw 5.

A Sterling Christmas Giveaway

A Sterling Christmas Giveaway

Your chance to win some Christmas delights

The winner will receive:

Signed copies of my ENTIRE Bad Boys Do It Better: In Love With An Outlaw series

1 x “Boss Queen” T-Shirt

1 x “I Slay” Tote Bag

1 x Porscha Sterling Bookmark

The runners-up will receive:

Signed copy of Bad Boys Do It Better: In Love With An Outlaw 4

1 x “Boss Queen” T-Shirt

1 x “I Slay” Tote Bag

1 x Porscha Sterling Bookmark

It’s simple:

You sign up for the chance to win.

You refer as many friends as possible to move up the leaderboard

The more people you refer, the with the higher your chances of winning!

You can see where you on the leaderboard.

You can share on Facebook, Twitter, by email or anywhere you can post your personal link.

Good Luck and Happy Holidays from The Porscha Sterling Team

Terms & Conditions

  1. Eligibility: This Campaign is open only to those who sign up at the https://www.porschasterling.com/sterling-christmas-giveaway and who are at least 18 years old as of the date of entry. The Campaign is open to All legal residents of USA, and is void where prohibited by law. Employees of GrowthRocks, Viral-loops and Porscha Sterling, its affiliates, subsidiaries, advertising and promotion agencies, and suppliers, (collectively the “Employees”), and immediate family members and/or those living in the same household of Employees are not eligible to participate in the Campaign. The Campaign is subject to all applicable federal, state, and local laws and regulations. Void where prohibited.
  2. Agreement to Rules: By participating, the Contestant (“You”) agree to be fully unconditionally bound by these Rules, and You represent and warrant that You meet the eligibility requirements. In addition, You agree to accept the decisions of Porscha Sterling as final and binding as it relates to the content of this Campaign.
  3. Campaign Period: Entries will be accepted online starting on December 23, 2017, 18:00 EST  and ending January 4, 2018, 2018. All online entries must be received by January 4, 2018.
  4. How to Enter: The Campaign must be entered by submitting an entry using the online form provided at https://www.porschasterling.com/sterling-christmas-giveaway. The entry must fulfil all Campaign requirements, as specified, to be eligible to win a prize. Entries that are incomplete or do not adhere to the rules or specifications may be disqualified at the sole discretion of Porscha Sterling. Optional verbiage to include: The system manages double bookings automatically, but in any case, you may enter only once. You must provide the information requested. You may not enter more times than indicated by using multiple email addresses, identities, or devices in an attempt to circumvent the rules. If You use fraudulent methods or otherwise attempt to circumvent the rules, your submission may be removed from eligibility at the sole discretion of Porscha Sterling. The above applies also in cases that You will try to take advantage of people you refer by using your referral code to promote the contest. It indeed results in getting the referee emails but actually, the referees have no chance to win as they will all use your referral code and they will only assist you to win.
  5. Prizes: The Winner(s) of the Campaign (the “Winner”) will receive the following Prizes:
    * Prize 1- Signed copies of Bad Boys Do It Better: In Love With An Outlaw series, 1 x “Boss Queen” T-Shirt, 1 x “I Slay” Tote Bag, 1 x Porscha Sterling Bookmark – Estimated retail price US$105

    * Prize 2-Signed copy of Bad Boys Do It Better: In Love With An Outlaw 4, 1 x “Boss Queen” T-Shirt, 1 x “I Slay” Tote Bag, 1 x Porscha Sterling Bookmark – Estimated retail price US$60
    *Prize 3-Signed copy of Bad Boys Do It Better: In Love With An Outlaw 4, 1 x “Boss Queen” T-Shirt, 1 x “I Slay” Tote Bag, 1 x Porscha Sterling Bookmark – Estimated retail price US$60
    Actual/appraised value may differ at time of prize award. The specifics of the prize shall be solely determined by Porscha Sterling. No cash or other prize substitution shall be permitted except at Porscha Sterling’s discretion. The prize is nontransferable. Any and all prize related expenses, including without limitation any and all federal, state, and/or local taxes, shall be the sole responsibility of Winner. No substitution of prize or transfer/assignment of prize to others or request for the cash equivalent by Winner is permitted. Acceptance of prize constitutes permission for Porscha Sterling to use Winner’s name, likeness, and entry for purposes of advertising and trade without further compensation, unless prohibited by law. Odds: The odds of winning depend on the number of eligible entries received. The more people you refer to join the campaign, the more chances you have to win by ranking higher up on the leaderboard.
  6. Winner Selection and Notification: Winner(s) will be resulted in real-time by the time that the contest will be finished, under the supervision of Porscha Sterling. Winner will be notified by email within five (5) days following appointment of Winner(s). Porscha Sterling shall have no liability for Winner’s failure to receive notices due to spam, junk e-mail or other security settings or for Winner’s provision of incorrect or otherwise non-functioning contact information. If Winner cannot be contacted, is ineligible, fails to claim the prize within 30 days from the time award notification was sent, or fails to timely return a completed and executed declaration and release as required, the prize may be forfeited and an alternate Winner selected. Receipt by Winner of the prize offered in this Campaign is conditioned upon compliance with any and all federal, state, and local laws and regulations. ANY VIOLATION OF THESE OFFICIAL RULES BY WINNER (AT Porscha Sterling‘S SOLE DISCRETION) WILL RESULT IN WINNER’S DISQUALIFICATION AS WINNER OF THE CAMPAIGN, AND ALL PRIVILEGES AS WINNER WILL BE IMMEDIATELY TERMINATED.
  7. Rights Granted by You: By entering this content, You understand and agree that Porscha Sterling, anyone acting on behalf of Porscha Sterling, and Porscha Sterling’s licensees, successors, and assigns, shall have the right, where permitted by law, to print, publish, broadcast, distribute, and use in any media now known or hereafter developed, in perpetuity and throughout the World, without limitation, your entry, name, portrait, picture, voice, likeness, image, statements about the Campaign, and biographical information for news, publicity, information, trade, advertising, public relations, and promotional purposes. without any further compensation, notice, review, or consent.
  8. Optional verbiage for Contests: By entering this content, You represent and warrant that your entry is an original work of authorship, and does not violate any third party’s proprietary or intellectual property rights. If your entry infringes upon the intellectual property right of another, You will be disqualified at the sole discretion of Porscha Sterling. If the content of your entry is claimed to constitute infringement of any proprietary or intellectual proprietary rights of any third party, You shall, at your sole expense, defend or settle against such claims. You shall indemnify, defend, and hold harmless Porscha Sterling from and against any suit, proceeding, claims, liability, loss, damage, costs or expense, which Porscha Sterling may incur, suffer, or be required to pay arising out of such infringement or suspected infringement of any third party’s right.
  9. Terms & Conditions: Porscha Sterling reserves the right, in its sole discretion, to cancel, terminate, modify or suspend the Campaign should virus, bug, non-authorized human intervention, fraud, or other cause beyond Porscha Sterling’s control corrupt or affect the administration, security, fairness, or proper conduct of the Campaign. In such case, Porscha Sterling may select the Winner from all eligible entries received prior to and/or after (if appropriate) the action taken by Porscha Sterling. Porscha Sterling reserves the right, in its sole discretion, to disqualify any individual who tampers or attempts to tamper with the entry process or the operation of the Campaign or website or violates these Terms & Conditions. Porscha Sterling has the right, in its sole discretion, to maintain the integrity of the Campaign, to void votes for any reason, including, but not limited to: multiple entries from the same user from different IP addresses; multiple entries from the same computer in excess of that allowed by Campaign rules; or the use of bots, macros, scripts, or other technical means for entering. Any attempt by an entrant to deliberately damage any website or undermine the legitimate operation of the Campaign may be a violation of criminal and civil laws. Should such attempt be made, Porscha Sterling reserves the right to seek damages to the fullest extent permitted by law.
  10. Limitation of Liability: By entering, You agree to release and hold harmless Porscha Sterling and its subsidiaries, affiliates, advertising and promotion agencies, partners, representatives, agents, successors, assigns, employees, officers, and directors from any liability, illness, injury, death, loss, litigation, claim, or damage that may occur, directly or indirectly, whether caused by negligence or not, from: (i) such entrant’s participation in the Campaign and/or his/her acceptance, possession, use, or misuse of any prize or any portion thereof; (ii) technical failures of any kind, including but not limited to the malfunction of any computer, cable, network, hardware, or software, or other mechanical equipment; (iii) the unavailability or inaccessibility of any transmissions, telephone, or Internet service; (iv) unauthorized human intervention in any part of the entry process or the Promotion; (v) electronic or human error in the administration of the Promotion or the processing of entries.
  11. Disputes: THIS Campaign IS GOVERNED BY THE LAWS OF Atlanta, Georgia, WITHOUT RESPECT TO CONFLICT OF LAW DOCTRINES. As a condition of participating in this Campaign, participant agrees that any and all disputes that cannot be resolved between the parties, and causes of action arising out of or connected with this Campaign, shall be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action, exclusively before a court located in Atlanta, Georgia having jurisdiction. Further, in any such dispute, under no circumstances shall the participant be permitted to obtain awards for, and hereby waives all rights to, punitive, incidental, or consequential damages, including reasonable attorney’s fees, other than participant’s actual out-of-pocket expenses (i.e. costs associated with entering this Campaign). Participant further waives all rights to have damages multiplied or increased.
  12. Privacy Policy: Information submitted with an entry is subject to the Privacy Policy stated on the Porscha Sterling website. To read the Privacy Policy, https://www.porschasterling.com/privacy-policy.
  13. The Campaign hosted by Porscha Sterling is in no way sponsored, endorsed, administered by, or associated with Facebook™ or Twitter or Reddit or other social networks that are used to share the participation.